New comedy television script: 'Aftermaths'
I've completed another
television comedy script. This one's about four male
teenagers who wake up in their school library to find
that something strange and terrible has happened,
leaving everyone else in the world either unconscious
or missing. Unlike more traditional disaster movies,
they're not thinking about how they can rebuild
society, help other survivors and find a cure for
what's happened. Their main questions are 'have any
attractive females survived?' and 'if they haven't
survived and have become un-dead instead, is it okay
to get off with one?'
Here's the script. I've sent a copy and an
episode synopsis to Dominic Lord at the JFL agency
who asked to read any new scripts I created. Last
year's script, 'just the two of us', hasn't yet
been commissioned but it's early days yet. I've
also added 'aftermaths' to my scripts page.
Simon's Cat
Hmm... I think I'm
definitely procrastinating here. Maybe I should go
and sit in the reference library? It's cold out
there. Don't want to move. Actually, I can't move
because this conservatory is about four degrees above
freezing. Fine motor control is one of the first
things that go as a person drifts into hypothermia.
Then they get sleepy.... zzzzz. Only joking! Anyway,
that wouldn't make any sense. Why would someone type
'zzzz' after they'd fallen asleep? Then
again, maybe that would be sleep-typing? Perhaps my
sleep typing would be better than my awake typing? Is
my conscious mind getting in the way of my creative
flow? Am I lying in bed at night, my thoughts in
dreamland while my body desperately searches for a
laptop to pen a brilliant opus? That's embarrassing;
as a writer, I'm better off unconscious.
This is definitely procrastinating. I did wean myself
off playing with my new iPhone, well, fairly new, it
was second hand but it's still got its internal
compass, accelerometer and pseudo-GPS. I wish I had
those things, well, I've got an accelerometer but I
don't have an internal compass. Birds do. They've
also got some kind of GPS and they can fly.
So, ranked in terms of ability, it's birds first,
followed by my iphone and then me last. Nuts.
I'm definitely writing a stream of consciousness blog
entry here, like Jack Kerouac but without the magical
atmosphere of late fifties jazz, bohemia, the wide
open plains, friendship, exploration, sadness,
disillusionment and, in the end, an early death. So
this blog entry hasn't got anything in common with
Kerouac's writing apart from its long, unwieldy
sentences and complete absence of a plot. Hmm... need
to work on that. Then again, this blog is probably a
healthier version of Kerouac. It's not as memorable
or inspiring but you'll live longer; sort of a
Beat-writer lite. Low fat Beat-writer. Family
filtered Beat writer. Tory party approved Beat
writer. This is making me nauseous.
What was the point of this blog entry? Oh yes,
Simon's cat; it's good. Time for an EMBED tag...
My sci-fi now competition entry, 'The film that scared me the most', won!
Just a quick note to say that my competition entry for the sci-fi now competition, 'the film that scared me the most', won! A bag of blu-ray, books and other merchandise is on its way to my door.
Read More...Doctor Who: Season six and my Tarditis
It was near the end of Doctor Who season six that I knew I'd developed Tarditis. Read More...
Sci-fi now competition: 'The film that scared me the most'
It was The Thing.
That wasn’t the
scariest part. The Thing was scary, very scary, but
the scariest part was that it was my first experience
of watching a scary movie with my mates.
I say mates; looking back, I’d be hard pressed to
think of a definite example in which any of them
acted selflessly on my behalf. It never seemed to be
like ‘Stand by Me’ in which the youngsters band
together and face down fears and dangers because they
love their friends. It was more like a prelude to The
Road. They’re friendly and want your company but you
realise that if they get hungry enough, it won’t be
‘you go! I’ll stay and fight them off!’, it’ll be
‘what’s the big deal? We only want your left
leg.’
New Scientist caption competition - robbed!
The winner was Patrick Kavanagh with his line: 'No, we haven't had any Shakespeare yet. It's mostly just been Dan Brown...' Read More...
Sketch for Radio 4 show 'Newsjack' - David Cameron hires a zombie
Sketch for Radio 4 show 'Newsjack' - David Cameron cooks breakfast
New Scientist caption competition
Being an ardent fan of
the New Scientist magazine, I couldn't resist
entering its caption competition. The picture is
as follows:
My entries were:
'Are you sure this'll be okay, Dr Jekyll?'
and
'And with that final drop, they had created the
world's strongest espresso'
New Scientist are running one every week for four
weeks, no purchase necessary!
My Star Wars: conception article is on the Sci Fi now website
Read
More...
The film 'Star Wars' is really about... conception!
Cyclists or teddy bears; who's the most dangerous?
Although the number of people killed in the UK by cyclists is around one every other year, she still feels it's important to send a message to these two-wheeled potential killers. The example she has given of a cyclist killing someone is a case where a cyclist hit a pedestrian who'd strayed into the road. To make things worse, he'd reportedly shouted at her 'I'm not going to stop!' before he hit her. Read More...
Just the two of us - TV comedy script
Carry a Rubber Ball. Make it part of your healthy lifestyle!
The power of 'up to'
Are we missing something here? Are these companies, with their skilled and experienced staff, pointing us in a new direction? If using ‘up to’ is such a gold mine, should we be trying to use it in aspects of our own lives? Maybe the power of ‘up to’ can be used in our emotional relationships?
Read More...The Utter horror of the 'three for two' offer
Film tie-ins aside, I
picked up the two books by Lindqvist that I wanted.
Sorted! I could go home and have a cup of tea. Then I
spotted something. Sitting prominently on the front
cover of both books was a sticker marked ‘3 for 2’.
Oh. That’s good, I thought. I have two books I want.
I can pick up a third for nothing. I looked around
casually. There were lots of ‘3 for 2’ books on the
tables around. I’ll definitely want one of those.
The only thing was, each one I spotted I didn’t want.
Read More...How owning a DVD ruined my evening
Then a grim truth hit me. I already owned an 'Indiana Jones and the last crusade' DVD. There was no need to wait until wednesday evening. I could watch it whenever I liked.
I was completely deflated. Weird, isn't it? Read More...
Lycra louts and trouser suits
One phrase that has puzzled me in recent years is ‘lycra louts’. It is used regularly and with a fair amount of emotion but I really don't know why. I can understand ‘lager louts’ since drinking lots of lager can make the best of us into anti-social idiots. But why do people demonise cyclists wearing clothing that reduces chafing? If anything, you’d think it would be the opposite way around. The cyclists without the lycra would be the menace. If I cycled for four hours in damp underwear that had been rubbing itself against my sensitive areas with all the delicate softness of a cheese grater, I would scream and shout if someone got in my way. But it’s the opposite. Read More...