Feedback from Cornerhouse theatre

I've got some feedback from the Cornerhouse theatre in Surbiton about the play I sent them entitled 'Can't see, won't see'. You can read it here: Can't see, won't see. Unfortunately, they won't be putting it on. This isn't much of a surprise since I only spotted at the last minute before submission that they were after family friendly plays! Oops. Anyway, here's the feedback:

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Can't See, Won't See. POSITIVES: Clever idea; pacey narrative; excellent visual set pieces; action-packed; well written. NEGATIVES: needs an experienced cast; lack of time to fully flesh out characters; technically complex; very violent; very OTT. STORY: Mentally unstable heiress appears to be victim to two 'friends' who seem to be out to fleece her in a double or triple cross plot alluding to ghostly manifestations which are laid to rest in a surprise ending. Minimal set and props although personal props include a gun (offstage gunfire), fake blood and a torch which is used as a weapon. For the audience to keep up with the action, this play needs an experienced cast to get the various strands across and the woman would need to weep convincingly at the start in contrast to her demeanour at the end. SUMMARY: Clever idea and pacey narrative. Ambitious action on stage which is commendable, a cinematic feel with some excellent visual set pieces. Suffers a little due to lack of time to fully flesh out characters. Would require considerable technical work to ensure action works well, in addition to certain staging requirements which may complicate matters. Would make an excellent short film. BRIEF: Three twenty somethings (2m, 1f) in an action-packed drama noir that turns into a rather gross bloodfest. It’s undoubtedly tense, there’s plenty to keep the audience on the edge of their seats, but it’s very violent. An apparent haunting turns out to be a plot to kill one of the cast, but with twist following twist, nothing is what it seems. Well written, but very OTT.

I was pleased with the feeback. I think they made a good point that it 'would make an excellent short film!'. It would also be an easy and cheap short film to make, since the whole of the action takes place in one room and there's only three characters. I'll look into the possibilities of doing that. Perhaps the Raindance Film company might be interested. Worth checking...

All in all, a very good experience and the Cornerhouse theatre have been great with their prompt advice and excellent feedback. It's companies like that which keep aspiring writers like myself motivated. Thank you, Cornerhouse!